Market research explained (from Yes, Minister)

Sir Humphrey Appleby: Mr. Woolley, are you worried about the rise in crime among teenagers?
Bernard Woolley: Yes.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Do you think there is lack of discipline and vigorous training in our Comprehensive Schools?
Bernard Woolley: Yes.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Do you think young people welcome some structure and leadership in their lives?
Bernard Woolley: Yes.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Do they respond to a challenge?
Bernard Woolley: Yes.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Might you be in favour of reintroducing National Service?
Bernard Woolley: Er, I might be.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Yes or no?
Bernard Woolley: Yes.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Of course, after all you’ve said you can’t say no to that. On the other hand, the surveys can reach opposite conclusions.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Mr. Woolley, are you worried about the danger of war?
Bernard Woolley: Yes.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Are you unhappy about the growth of armaments?
Bernard Woolley: Yes.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Do you think there’s a danger in giving young people guns and teaching them how to kill?
Bernard Woolley: Yes.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Do you think it’s wrong to force people to take arms against their will?
Bernard Woolley: Yes.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Would you oppose the reintroduction of conscription?
Bernard Woolley: Yes.
[does a double-take]
Sir Humphrey Appleby: There you are, Bernard. The perfectly balanced sample.

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Hilarious. (RE-POST)

Names changed to protect the guilty. On the other hand, if you know of a chess club that wants to attract 18-30 males in search of a more thrills than they can get from tamer sports like shark wrestling, I can put you in touch.

D

Hi David,

I hope you don’t mind the random email. I got your contact details from the English Chess Federation website.

I am a writer on a magazine called Mindless Sports. We are doing a feature about chess in our next issue, to coincide with the World champs, and were wondering if you would like to help us out. We want to talk to someone who can give us an insight into what happens behind the scenes at major chess tournaments. From what I can gather, there’s lots of drinking, arguments, underhand tactics, and even a few deaths! The angle we are going for would be something like ‘ Chess: Is it the new rock n’ roll sport?

As I’m sure you are aware, chess has a certain reputation. We want to help make it appealing to a whole new generation. Our readership mainly consists of 18-30 year old males, and there are a lot of them. Our owner is providing a huge promotion push which will put our circulation at XXX+ in the UK and Europe (at the moment we are at about YYk). Hopefully we can help raise the profile of chess to a whole new level.

I’m aware I may asking for some sensitive information, but you have my word everything will be done ethically and with the utmost sensitivity. By that, I mean we donĂ¢t want to name and shame individuals, we just want some stories about what really goes on at these things. We are not a tabloid newspaper. We could credit you with quotes, and provide a link to a club or sponsor you are affiliated with to give you a bit of publicity, or if you prefer we can keep this anonymous.

Thanks for your time, I hope to hear from you soon!

Z Grophulous
http://www.mindlesssports.com

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How to be a breastfeeding-friendly establishment:

Take a bow, Raymond Blanc brasserie, Cheltenham

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Damselflies in old lock and tall ship at Saul Junction

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by | August 22, 2014 · 3:59 pm

.@lmheggles For those awkward furry Grandad moments

Caused another screaming fit today in a cafe…

D

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.@lmheggles Race your partner to complete this crossword!

from Dan Dennett’s Intution Pumps

D

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When they’re good, they’re very very good

D

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